16> “Let the record show that the defendant has entered a plea of ‘Not guilty by
reason of oppressive tyranny.'”
15> “Seventeen consecutive life sentences? You can do that time standing on your
head, big guy! No, really.”
14> “Mr. Hussein, could you please tell the court why this goat looks at you so
fondly?”
13> “Call Rumsfeld, he’ll vouch for me.”
12> “Speaking of WMD, either we need air conditioning in this court room or
Saddam has to quit eating prison food.”
11> “Your Honor, Mr. Hussein would like to present evidence implicating the
entire state of Florida as the true architects of the recent evil.”
10> “And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for those meddling
kids and that dog!”
9> “In Iraq, we understand that torture obtains information, murder instills
fear and respect, and attempted genocide puts down rebellions — but ‘Zabibah
and the King’? A completely inexcusable offense, you vile son of a dog!”
8> “We’ll drop the charges if you’d just *please* tell us where a WMD is,
preferably right before the election.”
7> “Word is that his name around the cell block is Shirley.”
6> “Would jurors number 7 and 12 please put down the RPGs?”
5> “Well, yes, he does kinda look like Billy Joel, now that you mention it.”
4> “He was found living in a hole and has been in prison ever since, yet he
*still* looks healthier than Cheney.”
3> “I would never order the deaths of my fellow citizens. However, we did
respond in self defense after an epidemic of people charged our firing squads,
single file.”
2> “Your Honor, the soldiers who found Mr. Hussein would like to apologize to
the court for not shooting him instead.”
1> “Bail is set at ‘when monkeys fly out of my butt singing show tunes.'”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]