14> The Fatkins Diet
13> The Michael Jackson Diet: lamb and veal on a bed of whitefish
12> The Guiltily and Secretly Indulging Every Between-Meals Craving and Believing It’s Okay Because You Eat Small, Unsatisfying Meals and Besides It’s Impossible to Gain Weight Once You’ve Told Everybody You Know You’re on a Diet Diet
11> The Bucket Diet: Chew all you want. Swallow nothing.
10> The Cicada Diet: Gorge yourself, have sex, then sleep for 17 years.
9> Southwest Airlines Frequent Flyer Diet: After having to pay for two seats a couple of times, you’ll slim your fat ass down.
8> The “Fear Factor” Diet: easy to watch, difficult to swallow
7> The I Only Eat on Days That End in “Y” Diet
6> South Beached Whale Diet: Eat until you’re a blubbering idiot.
5> SlumFast: Eat only what your daily allotment of food stamps will buy.
4> Ruben Studdard’s Sing the Pounds Off Plan
3> HBO Diet: What we want to feed you, when we want to feed you. And you’ll be endlessly grateful for it, too.
2> The Un-Brando Diet: Share meals with Marlon Brando; eat everything he doesn’t.
1> The Anna Nicole Diet: Nothing but well-aged pork.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]