16> “Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds.”
15> “Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!”
14> “I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!”
13> “Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.”
12> “Damn if you ain’t about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.”
11> “Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt.”
10> “Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!”
9> “I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?”
8> “Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”
7> “Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!”
6> “Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today.”
5> “Got milk?”
4> “Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.”
3> “Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!”
2> “Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.”
1> “You don’t have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass.”