The Deer HuntSaturday1:00 a.m. – Alarm clock rings. 2:00 a.m. – Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed. 2:30 a.m. – Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pickup. 3:00 a.m. – Leave for the deep woods. 3:15 a.m. – Drive back home and pick up gun. 3:30 a.m. – Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight. 4:00 a.m. – Set up camp – forgot tent. 4:30 a.m. – Head into the woods. 6:05 a.m. – See eight deer. 6:06 a.m. – Take aim and sqweeze trigger. 6:07 a.m. – “Click”. 6:08 a.m. – Load gun while watching deer go over hill. 8:00 a.m. – Head back to camp. 9:00 a.m. – Still looking for camp. 10:00 a.m. – Realize you don’t know where camp is. 12:00 noon – Fire gun for help — eat whild berries. 12:15 p.m. – Run out of bullets — eight deer come back. 12:20 p.m. – Stange feeling in stomach. 12:30 p.m. – Realize you ate poison berries. 12:45 p.m. – Rescuded. 12:55 p.m. – Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped. 3:00 p.m. – Arrive back in camp. 3:30 p.m. – Leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 p.m. – Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 p.m. – Load gun — Leave camp again. 5:00 p.m. – Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you. 6:00 p.m. – Arrive at camp — see deer grazing in camp. 6:01 p.m. – Load gun. 6:02 p.m. – Fire gun. 6:03 p.m. – One dead pickup truck. 6:05 p.m. – Hunting partner retuns to camp dragging deer. 6:06 p.m. – Repress strong desire to shoot partner. 6:07 p.m. – Fall into camp fire. 6:10 p.m. – Change clothes, throw burned one in fire. 6:15 p.m. – Take pickup, leave — partner and his deer in the woods. 6:25 p.m. – Pickup boils over — hole shot in block. 6:26 p.m. – Start walking. 6:30 p.m. – Stuble and fall, drop gun in mud. 6:35 p.m. – Meet bear. 6:36 p.m. – Take aim. 6:37 p.m. – Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud. 6:38 p.m. – Mess pants. 6:39 p.m. – Climb tree. 9:00 p.m. – Bear departs, wrap *@*=*/@ gun around tree. Midnight – Home at last.Sunday – Watching football game on T.V. , slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces, place into envelope and mail to game warden with very clear instructions on where to place it!