14> By sharpening his claws on the chair leg, he’s carved a pretty good likeness of Joaquin Phoenix.
13> Recent hairballs include alarmingly large chunks of postman.
12> “I’m not Fluffy anymore; call me Muhammad al Fluf-Rahim.”
11> Catches mice, only to keep them as pets.
10> Starts sending you parts of the dog through the mail.
9> Created a bunker in his litter box.
8> Stacks his hairballs into the shape of Devil’s Tower, Wyoming.
7> Has bet it all on the Cubs winning the series this year.
6> That slight “off” smell before it hits the wok.
5> Can’t stop purring “Helter Skelter.”
4> Now kills mice by sending them through your wood chipper.
3> While cleaning the litter box, you find the bodies of several drifters.
2> Goes on long rants about how the country is really controlled by Jewish dogs.
1> He just coughed up a brainball.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]