14> You ask your robot caddy for a sand wedge and it hands you a tuna on rye.
13> The taste tests went well, and “SARS BARS” rhymed and everything…
12> Even Ralph Kramden turned you down for financing.
11> Your “Windshield Vaseline,” while it does make the road look younger, has unfortunate side effects.
10> Your best remaining hope for commercialization: “Miller’s Genuine Cold Fusion Draft.”
9> It’s hard to unfold a chocolate umbrella.
8> Two years later, and there are *still* no Segway-only traffic lanes.
7> “Watson, come here; I’m bleeding!”
6> Public debate regarding gun control aside, there simply is no ready market for your “Salad Stunner.”
5> Despite the celebrity tie-in, your freezers are crammed with unsold “Gary Burghoff Frozen Gourmet Dinners.”
4> Your “Kiwi Karving Kit” continues to be badly outsold at Halloween by those damn pumpkin traditionalists.
3> By law, you must print “Patent Forcibly Declined” on your invention.
2> Your product’s catch phrase is: “Set it, read pages 11 through 26 in the owner’s manual, and forget it!”
1> In hindsight, labeling your item as “Small enough to fit inside a hollowed-out human head!” might not have been the best marketing decision.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]