10. Goalie removes an article of clothing for each goal allowed.
9. If the Zamboni goes less than 50 mph it blows up.
8. Canadians must play in bare feet.
7. Replace hockey sticks with live flamingos.
6. Just barely visible under the ice: the frozen body of Walt Disney.
5. At some point in every game – exciting police chase in the stands.
4. Actually have Jason from “Friday the 13th” skating around in his hockey mask trying to kill guys.
3. Instead of an ice rink, a huge red-hot griddle covered in bacon grease.
2. One word: blindfolds.
1. Lose the puck and goals – and make it a 4 period free-for-all.