- “Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!”
- Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins?.”
- When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message, “We are open on Sundays, too.”
- A singing group called “The Resurrection” was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, “The Resurrection is postponed.”
- “People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”
- “God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.”
- “Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!”
- “When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright.”
- “Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.”
- “It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”