How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
None. It should be open when she brings it to you.
How many men does it take to fix a woman’s watch?
None. She can use the clock on the oven.
What’s the matter if a woman is in the living room?
The leash from the kitchen is too long.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You already told her twice.