After last weekend’s conference of the American Librarians Association, the Children’s Books committee has prepared this list of books NOT on their recommended list:
- 40 Whacks: Counting With Lizzie
- A Pictorial History of Circus Geek Suicides
- Alice in WonderBraLand
- Babar Meets the Taxidermist and Becomes a Piano
- Barney’s Bleeding and Nobody Can Help
- Bob the Germ’s Wondrous Journey Into and Back Out of Your Digestive System
- Charles Manson Bedtime Stories
- Clifford the Big Red Dog Accidently Eats his Masters and is Put to Sleep
- Controlling The Playground: Respect through Fear
- Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
- Dad’s New Wife Timothy
- Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle
- David Duke’s World of Imagination
- Dick, Jane, and Spot Wander into The ‘Hood’
- Ed Beckley’s Start a Real Estate Empire with the Change from your Mom’s Purse
- Furious George Delivers the Mail
- Girls Are From Venus, Boys Are From Cootieland
- How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School
- Joe Camel and The Magic Cancer Stick
- Joe Garagiola Retells Favorite Fairy Tales but Can’t Remember the Endings
- Legends of Scab Football
- Let’s Draw Betty and Veronica Without their Clothes On
- Maybe Dick
- Peter Rabbit’s Frisky Adventures
- Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games
- Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’s Games of Revenge
- Safe Sex And The Zip-Lock bag
- Teddy: the Elf with the Detached Retina
- Testing Homemade Parachutes With Nothing At All But Your Household Pets
- The Big Little Book of Necrophilia
- The Boy Who Ate Spinach…And Lived To Tell About It
- The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
- The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead
- The Complete Set Of “Mother Got Goosed” Nursery Rhymes
- The Crack House at Pooh Corner
- The Dummy’s Guide to Crying
- The Dyslexic’s Big Anagram Book
- The Frog Formerly Known as Prince
- The Hardy Boys, the Bobsey Twins, and The Vice Squad
- The J. Edgar Hoover Dress-Up Book
- The Legend of Three-Card Monte
- The Little Engine That Could, If Only That Damned Gout Would Go Away
- The Little Engine that Could Becomes intoxicated and Kills Civilians
- The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
- The Tickling Babysitter
- The Unabomber Pop-Up Manifesto and Coloring Book
- Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
- Those Great Childhood Fragrances…Apple Pie, Cotton Candy And Bicycle Seats
- Tommy Tune: Boy Choreographer
- Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things From Your Nose
- When Mommy Leaves Daddy, And What You Did to Cause It
- Where in the New York Area is Jimmy Hoffa?
- Where the Wildings Are
- Where’s Waldo’s Weewee?
**EXTRA**
The committee has also found these Dr. Seuss books, written after he “lost it”, and put them on the NOT recommended list:
1. The Cat in the Blender
2. Are You My Proctologist?
3. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
4. Your Colon Can Moo—Can You?
5. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch
6. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out!
7. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbet
8. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket
9. Aunts in My Pants
10. Horton Fakes an Orgasm