Certificate of Upgrade to Complete Asshole

Is awarded to:

Bobby

In recognition of your obnoxious attitude, ability to piss people off, complete

asinine juvenile behavior and total dedication to personal gain without regard

to the many hardships you have forced upon friends, family and other during your

lifetime, you have become a legend in your own mind.

To recognize your upgrade from half-assed to complete asshole, gives all

concerned great satisfaction. If anyone, for any reason, doubts your status,

JUST BE YOURSELF!

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