Snappy answers to sappy questions:
All your puny problems solved in 10 words or less!
Q: Dear Abby,
What can I do about my little brother? He’s such a pest!
A: Have you tried a flyswatter?
Q: Dear Abby,
My boss is a mean, unappreciative slave driver who constantly belittles me. What can I do?
A: Shut up and get back to work!
Q: Dear Abby,
My dad insists I clean my room! How can I get out of this?
A: Get a new dad.
Q: Dear Abby,
Why are you so lazy?
A: Dear loser, Why are you so stupid? Next question.
Q: Dear Abby,
Help! I need to lose weight! How can I stop eating all the fattening foods I love?
A: Send them to me and I’ll eat them for you.