14> Rousing game of Pin the Hair Plug on the CBS Late-Night Host.
13> Went to Blockbuster. Destroyed all the Pauly Shore movies.
12> Worked on our multi-dimensional matrix trying to resolve all the storyline and technical contradictions in the five “Star Trek” TV series. Again.
11> Walked into bars with a priest, a rabbi and a polar bear.
10> Tried to duplicate William Hung’s aura in hopes of getting a date.
9> Reported Mel Gibson to the copyright office for infringing on “Life of Brian.”
8> Cried ourselves to sleep waiting for Chris to validate our lives by giving us the Number 1 spot.
7> Every time George W. said “freedom” on TV, substituted the word “underpants.”
6> Passed around copies of the TopFive lists we made, explaining that even though we don’t get “paid,” we are considered “professional” humorists.
5> Gathered for a movieoke showing of “Blazing Saddles.”
4> Convened the annual TopFive Coven Gathering to worship at the Great White altar.
3> Performed extensive research to conclusively prove that, yes, wherever you go it’s about $25 — same as in town.
2> Michael Jackson-reference drinking contests
1> Same thing we do every month, Chester – tried to take over the world.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]