14> Still suffers from chronic carpal tunnel syndrome from operating strings attached to Bill.
13> At Chelsea’s insistence, every White House Dinner guest list included “Blossom” star Joey Lawrence.
12> Alec Baldwin giggles like a schoolgirl when you tickle his tummy.
11> Is actually the senior senator from New York after kicking Chuck Schumer’s pansy ass in an arm-wrestling match.
10> Chapter three? Written entirely in Pig Latin.
9> Not only was there the stained Lewinsky dress, but Hillary’s lipstick was discovered on a pair of James Carville’s Dockers by reporters who were too revolted to pursue the story.
8> Smuggled out nearly 8000 official White House drink coasters over her husband’s two terms, mostly hidden in her undergarments.
7> Guess who gave her the heads-up on cattle futures? That’s right — Martha Stewart.
6> Successfully battled testicular cancer.
5> She used to fantasize about being the wife of P-funkster George Clinton.
4> Was totally hammered on Jagermeister when she came up with that whole “It takes a village” thing.
3> Pinned Tipper two out of three times in the Presidential Jell-O Wrestling Championship.
2> Once killed a guy with her bare hands after he called her “Mister.”
1> Vehemently opposed President Bush’s plan to drill for oil in the Arctic because she was so tired of the previous president’s constant attempts to drill *her* arctic region.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]