There are 3 stages of sex after marriage. The first stage is the
“Anywhere” stage, when you’ll do it anywhere – the kitchen table, the
shower, on top of the washing machine during the spin cycle.
The second stage is the “Bedroom” stage, when you’ll only do it in the
bedroom with the lights turned out.
The third stage is the “Hallway” stage, when you pass each other in the
hallway and say “Screw you!”