Symphonic Misnotes

Even if you think perfect pitch has something to do with baseball, you will enjoy these musical responses that young students wrote on real-life tests:

* Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing.

* A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

* J.S. Bach died from 1750 to the present.

* Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.

* Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.

* Caruso was at first an Italian. Then someone heard his voice and said he would go a long way. And so he came to America.

* A good orchestra is always ready to play if the conductor steps on the podium.

* Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.

* Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

* My very best-liked piece is the Bronze lullaby.

* A harp is a nude piano.

* My favorite composer is Opus.

* An opera is a song of a bigly size.

* Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

* Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

* Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.

* I know what a sextet is, but I’d rather not say.

* Stradivarius sold his violins on the open market with no strings attached.

* Do you know that if Beethoven were alive today, he’d be celebrating the 170th anniversary of his death?

* Aaron Copland is one of our most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.

* In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda, who is the one he really loves. Pretty soon Silvio gets stabbed also, and they all live happily ever after.

* At one time, singers had to use musicians to accompany them. since synthesizers came along, singers can now play with themselves.

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