Dormitory = Dirty Room
Evangelist = Evil’s Agent
Desperation = A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code = Here Come Dots
Slot Machines = Cash Lost in ’em
Animosity = Is No Amity
Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z’s
Alec Guinness = Genuine Class
Semolina = Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point = I’m a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
Contradiction = Accord not in it
This one’s amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] To be or not to be that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slingsand arrows of outrageous fortune. = In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.
Politicians: George Herbert Walker Bush = Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog
George Bush = He bugs Gore
Ronald Wilson Reagan = A long-insane Warlord (or
Insane Anglo warlord)
Ronald Reagan = A darn long era
Leroy Newton Gingrich = Yon Right-winger Clone
Margaret Thatcher = That great charmer
The Conservative Party = Teacher in vast poverty
And the grand finale: “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” –Neil A. Armstrong = A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis