~Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.
~Sex is nobody’s business except for the three people involved.
~Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree,
shake your fist at the sky, and say, “Storms suck!”
~If homosexuality were normal God would have created Adam and Bruce.
~Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
~France is a country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the
toilet paper.
~Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat.
~Groundhog Day has been observed only once in Los Angeles because when the
groundhog came out of its hole, it was killed by a mud slide.
~I hate people who keep dogs. They are the cowards that are afraid to bite
people themselves.
~Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.