The Male Stages of Life

AGE DRINK

17 beer

25 vodka

35 scotch

48 double scotch

66 Mylanta

AGE SEDUCTION LINE

17 My parents are away for the weekend.

25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.

35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.

48 My wife is away for the weekend.

66 My wife is dead.

AGE FAVORITE SPORT

17 sex

25 sex

35 sex

48 channel surfing

66 napping

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17 “tongue”

25 “breakfast”

35 “She didn’t set back my therapy.”

48 “I didn’t have to meet her kids.”

66 “Got home alive.”

AGE FAVORITE FANTASY

17 a winning goal after the siren

25 sex in an airplane

35 menage a trois

48 taking over the company

66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

AGE WHAT’S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17 25

25 35

35 48

48 66

66 17

AGE IDEAL DATE

17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in

25 “Split the check before we go back to my place.”

35 “Just come over.”

48 “Just come over and cook.”

66 Sex in the company jet on the way to Las Vegas.

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