If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer it makes the beer shoot out of your nose – Jack Handy
It’s better to have a beer in hand than gas in the tank.
Beer – It’s just not for breakfast anymore.
Beer – Natures Laxative.
One more and I’ll be under the host – Dorothy Parker
Without question the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but a wheel does not go as well with pizza. – Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. – Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. – David Moulton
A drink a day, keeps the shrink away. – Edward Abbey
People who drink “light” beer don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. – Capital Brewery WI
Put it back in the horse!! – H. Allen Smith after his first American beer.
On the seventh day He brewed beer. – Bill Bradshaw
Reality is the illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t have the decency to thank her. – W.C. Fields
Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.
The problem with jails is they have wrong type of bars in there.