President Boris Yeltsin called Clinton with an emergency: “Our largest condom
factory has exploded!” the Russian President cried; “My people’s favorite form
of birth control! This is a true disaster!”
“Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power
to help you.”, replied the President.
“I do need your help,” said Yeltsin. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000
condoms ASAP to tie us over?”
“Why certainly! I’ll get right on it!”, said Clinton. “Oh, and one more small
favor, please?”, said Yeltsin.
“Yes?”, replied the President.
“Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10″ long and 4″ in diameter?”
said Yeltsin.
“No problem,” replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up and called
the President of Trojan condoms. “I need a favor, you’ve got to make 1,000,000
condoms right away and send them to Russia.”
“Consider it done�, said the President of Trojan.
“Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10″ long and 4″ wide.”
“Easily done. Anything else?”
“Yeah,” said the President, “Print ‘MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM’ on each
one.”