For all you health nuts out there: 1) My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now & we don’t know where the heck she is.2) The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.3) I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.4) I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.5) I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.6) I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.7) I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.8) The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.9) If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.10) I don’t jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.