If You Love

The Original Version:

If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, she never was….

New, Revised and Updated Versions:

* Pessimist:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she ever comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, well, as expected, she never was.

* Optimist:
If you love somebody, set her free…
Don’t worry, she will come back.

* Suspicious:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

* Impatient:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she doesn’t come back within your specific time limit, forget her.

* Patient:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she doesn’t come back, continue to wait until she comes back…

* Playful:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, *repeat*

* Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love somebody, set her free…
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

* Lawyer:
If you love somebody, set her free…
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states this.

* Bill Gates:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and tell her that she’s also going to get an upgrade.

* Schwarzenegger Fan:
If you love somebody, set her free…
SHE’LL BE BACK!

* Over Possessive Control Freak:
If you love somebody,
don’t set her free.

* HR Specialist:
If you love somebody, set her free…
By offering her VRS and other benefits, then outsource her.

* Psychologist:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant;
If she doesn’t come, back her id is supreme;
If she doesn’t go, she must be crazy.

* Somnabulist:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, it’s a nightmare;
If she doesn’t, you must be dreaming.

* Finance Expert:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans;
If she doesn’t, write her off as an asset gone bad.

* Marketing Expert:
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty;
If she doesn’t, reposition the brand in new and emerging markets!

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