Purpee Jokes

Bush and Powell are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, “Isn’t that Bush and
Powell?”

The barman says, “Yep, that’s them.”

So the guy walks over and says, “Hello, what are you
guys doing?”

And Bush says, “We’re planning world war 3”

And the guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?”

And Bush says, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million
Afghans this time and one bicycle repairman.”

And the guy exclaimed, “A bicycle repairman?!!!”

So Bush turns to Powell and says, ” See, I told you no-
one would worry about the 140 million Afghans!”

How could you tell that the whale was gay?
Because he bit the head off of the submarine and sucked out all the sea-men.

For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces when she was downloaded, er, born on Friday, April 26 at 6:11pm. And what do Baby Gates and Daddy’s products have in common? 1. Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party support. 2. Both barf all over themselves regularly. 3. Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won’t help. 4. As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which preceeded them. 5. At first release they’re relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow and grow with each passing year. 6. Although announced with great fanfare, pretty much anyone could have produced one. 7. They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation. 8. No matter what, it takes several months between the announcement and the actual release. 9. Bill gets the credit but someone else did most of the work. 10. For at least the next year, they’ll suck.

A rich lady is riding along with her chauffeur when they get a flat tire.

He gets out and starts trying to pry off the hubcap.

After he struggles a few minutes, she looks out at him and says, ‘You wanna screwdriver?’

He says, ‘We might as well. I can’t get this fucking hubcap off’